i made an impulsive mistake

i hope this doesn’t go against the rules because i haven’t misused any substances at the time of writing this. i spontaneously bought $80 of alli orlistat (a weight control OTC med that attacks fatty foods after being ingested) after being depressed about a 20lb weight gain this past winter and i don’t think i can refund it. i miss being on adhd medication and the appetite suppressant it results in. i hate being a girl and how my parents talk about weight and i hate how much i crave stimulants be it through compulsive snacking or nicotine. i know it’s not a magic pill and i know fatty foods don’t contribute to fat gain. i wasn’t thinking about that when i pressed purchase. normally im so scrutinizing about big purchases but sometimes im so impulsive with my money and its not good. i wanted to buy concert tickets this weekend that cost that much, each, and i feel like i threw it down the drain. i dont feel comfortable telling my parents, boyfriend, or friends about this. if this isn’t the right subreddit please let me know where i can talk about it.