Is it supposed to feel this bleak?

I don’t know if this is hormones, getting older, grief, or all of it at once, but I feel really frustrated lately. I’m having a hard time seeing anything positive. No one ever really explained what these changes would feel like. I’ve been bounced between my doctor and a gynecologist, told “just go on birth control” and “we don’t do HRT until you’re officially in menopause,” and I feel like I’ve had to educate everyone instead of being supported. It’s exhausting. On top of that, the last year has been heavy. I lost my only parent. I have one teen who is incredibly challenging right now. I lost a close friendship after they chose to stay in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship. I’ve gained weight. I feel like I give and give and give, and even though I’m trying to set better boundaries, I feel lonely and empty. Right now it feels like no area of my life is particularly fulfilling. I’m just tired. Overwhelmed. Alone. I guess I’m posting to ask: did anyone else hit a wall like this in perimenopause? Did you feel this flat, frustrated, and disillusioned? And if you did… what actually helped?